Walk the Line

On Saturday Jason and I had double feature day at the movies. We saw Walk the Line and Harry Potter Goblet of Fire. We saw Walk the Line first, at 1:30. The movie started and the entire time I sat watching the movie I was completely mesmerized. Tears came throughout the movie. It didn't take sad moments to bring them either. It was more or less because I was sitting there watching J.R.'s life unfold. I felt everything that happened with such passion and heart wrenching love. Johnny Cash is many things to me; truth in a world that only knows lies, integrity, loyalty, passion, and the list could go on for hours. I have loved Johnny since I was a child and my dad introduced his music to me. Even as a two year old I could hear the heart breaking truth in his voice and words. Heart breaking because you can hear the conviction and love and something else I can't quite put my finger on. But you can feel it. Anyone who has ever heard Johnny Cash knows this indescribable "thing". Its power and honesty literally pulses through his music. And June was such an amazing woman. Through everything she was his friend, helping him and loving him when no one else really would. And the love you see between them is the most genuine I have ever seen. I say "is" because surely it transcends even death. A love that defines the word "love". So after seeing that movie we left the theatre in somewhat of a daze. And while I enjoyed Harry Potter I think I would have enjoyed it more had I not just seen Johnny Cash brought to life. Throughout the movie my mind kept wandering back to Walk the Line. And now, two days later, I am still seeing images from it and loving J.R. even more than before. I didn't think that was possible.

Looking into the eyes of a killer

Last week I received a subponea to appear in court in Fulton County as a witness in a murder trial. A murder that happened almost 4 years ago. So yesterday I drove downtown to to the court house, parked at Underground, and went into the court building. I ran into the investigator and he took me to the court room (lucky since I didn't know where it was!) and I sat outside with the other witnesses, all of us waiting our turn. As a witness we were not allowed in the court room to listen to the trial until after giving testimony. So at 11:50 they called me...I walked into the little entry way and stood there waiting for the officer to escort me inside. I glanced into the court room and the defendant leaned back in his chair and glanced out to get a good look at me. I haven't seen him since that day in 2002. All of the sudden the defendant's attorneys stood up and asked to break for lunch. They didn't know I was appearing. I was a surpise. So they then took me back to a room and questioned me themselves, preparing for what I would have to say. I told them what I knew, and went to lunch in the cafeteria with the other witnesses. When we came back the order of witnesses had been changed and it was not my turn. It was his girlfriend's. After an hour and a half she came out sobbing. Poor thing. Then her dad went in, then the EMT...then they called me again. I walked into the court room, up to the witness stand turned around and was sworn in. I took my seat and looked over at the defendant. My old friend. A man who would help me carry my groceries in if he saw me coming in with them. Ditto with my laundry. A man I once thought was kind and thoughtful. A man who I sat and had drinks with and who listened to me as I also listened to him. As I sat on the stand he leaned over so he could see me. And I looked him directly in the eye and gave my testimony. I was examined, cross-examined and then examined again. And I was doing the absolute right thing. But at the same time I felt bad for him. I knew it was something he wouldn't have normally done. A crime of passion. He saw the guy who had robbed him months earlier, and enraged shot him three times. It was terrible. A bad thing. Something he should be punished for. But as I sat there on the stand I wanted to ask him, "why did you do this? you knew better". As it turned out my testimony was so damning because it wrecked his alibi. No one told me that until right before I went into testify. Not that it would have changed anything...but I would have like to have been prepared for that. As I looked into the eyes of a killer, I could see the pleading remorse. And I wished I could have gone back in time and warned him, talked to him, made it different. But he is still a killer and as the victim's sister sat in the court room and cried I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I was a better person for helping keep that murderer off the streets.