Looking into the eyes of a killer

Last week I received a subponea to appear in court in Fulton County as a witness in a murder trial. A murder that happened almost 4 years ago. So yesterday I drove downtown to to the court house, parked at Underground, and went into the court building. I ran into the investigator and he took me to the court room (lucky since I didn't know where it was!) and I sat outside with the other witnesses, all of us waiting our turn. As a witness we were not allowed in the court room to listen to the trial until after giving testimony. So at 11:50 they called me...I walked into the little entry way and stood there waiting for the officer to escort me inside. I glanced into the court room and the defendant leaned back in his chair and glanced out to get a good look at me. I haven't seen him since that day in 2002. All of the sudden the defendant's attorneys stood up and asked to break for lunch. They didn't know I was appearing. I was a surpise. So they then took me back to a room and questioned me themselves, preparing for what I would have to say. I told them what I knew, and went to lunch in the cafeteria with the other witnesses. When we came back the order of witnesses had been changed and it was not my turn. It was his girlfriend's. After an hour and a half she came out sobbing. Poor thing. Then her dad went in, then the EMT...then they called me again. I walked into the court room, up to the witness stand turned around and was sworn in. I took my seat and looked over at the defendant. My old friend. A man who would help me carry my groceries in if he saw me coming in with them. Ditto with my laundry. A man I once thought was kind and thoughtful. A man who I sat and had drinks with and who listened to me as I also listened to him. As I sat on the stand he leaned over so he could see me. And I looked him directly in the eye and gave my testimony. I was examined, cross-examined and then examined again. And I was doing the absolute right thing. But at the same time I felt bad for him. I knew it was something he wouldn't have normally done. A crime of passion. He saw the guy who had robbed him months earlier, and enraged shot him three times. It was terrible. A bad thing. Something he should be punished for. But as I sat there on the stand I wanted to ask him, "why did you do this? you knew better". As it turned out my testimony was so damning because it wrecked his alibi. No one told me that until right before I went into testify. Not that it would have changed anything...but I would have like to have been prepared for that. As I looked into the eyes of a killer, I could see the pleading remorse. And I wished I could have gone back in time and warned him, talked to him, made it different. But he is still a killer and as the victim's sister sat in the court room and cried I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I was a better person for helping keep that murderer off the streets.